First day of 10k training.
Didn’t really want to. Procrastinated. Puttered around. Made excuses, for a while.
Realized I was terrified. Of failing, actually.
New, hard, challenge. Scary, scary stuff.
Stupid ‘f’ word – Failure.
Very scary stuff.
This whole year has been about doing scary and new and challenging, and I’m not sure where the strength or resolve has come from for some of it, but this I’ve learned – I have come to understand how much happiness is a choice; gratitude is a gift we give ourselves and the world; hope is ours to grab and hold onto.
Doesn’t mean it was easy to get up and go get it. Doesn’t mean my rear and hips aren’t really angry at me. Doesn’t mean I don’t really need to hop in the shower and make a good lunch. Just means it got done. Just means for another day, I set a goal and made it. Small victory. Over time.
Doesn’t mean that I’m not continually having to reiterate this to my brain. One year ago I started running, and I could barely run sixty seconds straight. Small victories over time lead to amazing change.
(They also lead to needing new running shoes, but that’s a different day’s project.)
Whatever your “10k” – have faith, trust and the courage to take action. It’s very scary stuff but it’s very worthwhile. You are worth it. This life is happening, and it is beautiful and sweet – even in the roaring din of every day. Perhaps, in part, because of it.